Is there a way to find channels that will not force close? Does amboss have this?

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You using LND?

I will be. That's what btcpayserver uses.

You can choose to use CLN with BTCPay server 🐶🐾🫡

I recommend CLN.

Nothing is guaranteed not to force close. Often it happens because of a problematic payment, because of your node being unreliable or something else.

Big nodes are known for draining your liquidity and then closing your channel, but they usually cooperatively close it, so force closes are usually not done by them unless for the reasons I mentioned above.

what if I run 2 private nodes and 1 public? Can all 3 nodes be "connected"? I feel like there needs to be a whole book or faq on lightning, although if it's out of date in 6 months, then I understand why there is none yet.

Yes🐶🐾🫡

Well, you need to search for a reliable counter party and you need to host your lightning node reliable, too. Then there should not be a force close.

Not too hard, we have a fiber to our house.

what if I am my own "counterparty"? Eg: run 2 private nodes and 1 public? Can all 3 nodes be "connected"? I feel like there needs to be a whole book or faq on lightning, although if it's out of date in 6 months, then I understand why there is none yet.

Your post is getting a lot of comments.

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difficult. I had nodes not wanting to connect to me because I had too many FCs. thing is this is hardly my fault, I just operate a 'connect with anyone' policy. this of course leads to many rpi systems, tor-only systems often forcing me to FC, yet I believe as a peer my node is very low risk.