So, there is no such thing a private relay?

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😅 I'm using one right now.

If I subscribe to a few public/paid relays in addition to my private relay, which serves only my closest family. How can I make sure that my family and I only share private notes on my private relay? How can I ensure that our personal notes won’t publish on public relays?

There is no such thing as personal notes. But if you really want to, you can restrict access to relay for reading.