you were clearly ready for someone to give you a few new tools to build your new model

that latent guilt about being one of them will fade with time

and yes, almost none of the churches are not controlled by psychopathic manipulators... it was already so bad 30 years ago that my mother abandoned gathering with them - she had a pretty strong instinct about it, and it was why she divorced my father, he was trying to use these techniques to maintain control of his leader role in the family instead of using his masculine power

idk if my father has woken up to it fully yet, but i know my mother she is a wise old witch, and i love her because of that, she is helping keep my sister's children from being turned into drones as well, i love my mother, she is the best, i always let her know when she appears again