its a great book and a good reminder, refresher! Adding to your pointers, some notes I jotted down some time back :

1. Sometimes a person is pressuring you to do something; other times the pressure comes from your own sense of what you “should” do. If you cannot say no to this external/internal pressure, you have lost control of your boundaries and self-control.

2. Putting the blame on others - “I had to” or “She (he) made me” when explain- ing why we did or did not do something. These phrases betray our basic illusion that we are not active agents in many of our dealings.

3. Setting our own internal limits. We need to have spaces inside ourselves where we can have a feeling, an impulse, or a desire, without acting it out. We need self-control without repression, say no to ourselves. Delayed gratification is important

4. We must own our own thoughts. Certainly we should listen to thoughts of others and weigh it; but we should never “give our minds” over to anyone. We are to weigh things for ourselves - and in the context of relationship, “sharpening” each other as iron, but remaining separate thinkers.

Thanks for sharing!