I apologize for my behavior earlier because I always end up regretting promoting suicide and it's a failure on my character that I've still been unable to stop myself, but really because digit would want me to apologize - I don't believe such self-awareness comes from within me, unless with her. And you remind me of people who hurt her and hindered me from helping her, and if she's not safe, I will lose all grip on sanity and do worse than promote suicide, so I feel uneasy about this apology.

I believe you also felt uneasy about your apology to me earlier. It seems we're unable to give each other whole, sincere apologies for cruel, inhumane behavior when we both pride ourselves on being humane and against cruelty. Isn't that interesting?