I'm so happy I didn't grow up with controlling parents.

The only rule I can remember having as a kid was that my mom didn't want me crossing the big through street alone when I was like, under 5. But if my older neighbors were with me, I was allowed.

My mom always shared "Why" rather than, "because I said so". The only time she ran out of answers was when I was that age in toddler/child development where I just kept asking why way past the answer.

She taught me to think for myself. To make my own decisions. To think about the consequences, because she would point them out when she noticed them around us. Like how bridges, roundabouts, and intersections are always going to be iceier than other parts if the road. Because bridges have cool air going underneath, and at intersections and roundabouts people use their breaks and turn, causing friction to make the road slicker.

By simply sharing how she saw things, I learned at a young age that the idea of getting drunk seemed highly unpleasant. Why would I force myself to drink something that didn't even taste good, just so I can wake up the next day feeling like shit? Not to mention the possibility of opening myself up to demonic influences, as I am not in my right mind while drunk. No thanks, not for me 😅

I wasn't isolated or restricted, I was given freedom to learn and try new things, while having been introduced to Father God, Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Jesus was my best friend, and I wanted to get closer to Him, and act more like my Father.

My mom (and dad) sent me, alone, to join a missions trip to Mongolia when I was 17! Sure, I joined a team, but I started the trip alone, then joined 2 people the 2nd day, spend 5 days with them on a train through Russia before joining the rest of the team.

My mom concluded that, "if I don't hear anything, I'm gonna assume everything is fine". I was gone for over a month! With only minimal contact with my parents.

I learned to make my own decisions and follow my own dreams. Because I had the opportunity to sit in an admin building for 9 months during some of my ministry schooling, I discovered how I'd actually LOVE to have a cubical job, where I got to do admin and paperwork and such.

I later became a hotel receptionist because I'd also gotten the opportunity to try being the checkin person for a conference we hosted,and I loved that as well.

Because I knew what I liked, I was able to communicate that with my bosses, and though I was supposed to be a receptionist, I ended up getting little tasks that suited me from other departments! (I didn't work at normal hotels 😎)

I have lived my adult life in the world, but not of the world.

Because I was taught how to think and reason at a young age, I've been able to avoid a lot of pitfalls other fall into as they grow up.

My parents never had to deal with rebellious teenagers, because we had nothing to rebel against.

Instead of being told what we had to or should do, or not do, we were encouraged and believed in. We were treated like capable humans even as kids. Obviously, we were under the care of our parents, but if anything, we were supervised, not controlled. We were believed in.

I'm so grateful to have found an amazing husband I can partner with in life. Someone who understands that there is nuance and that the best thing we can do for our children is to believe in them and encourage them. We'll assist them as needed, and train them, share "why", and allow them to make their own decisions. If they wanna try something, we won't stand in their way.

We'll have boundaries, but they'll likely be more relational than dictatorial, and where we share why we set that boundary, instead of just claiming that we are the parents, the gods, and they're just to fall in line.

Eh, even the thought of that kind of controlling behavior irks me!!!! 😖

Once I got married, I wasn't allowed to work for 2.5 years due to immigration. However, I because a published author during that time, and I have no plans to stop. I get to partner with my husband in our joint dream of being authors. It's truly a gift and a blessing! 🥰

And soon we get to embark on the journey of raising our son, together! 🤗🥳