Do you ever feel that tug towards something you want, some experience that is calling to you, and yet you feel conflicted?

It’s actually a Good Thing. Or it can be!

I want to fly! I don’t want to die!

That conflict helped me learn what it would take to be a safe and responsible private pilot. It focused me. It also told me when it was time to stop because I didn’t have the time and space in my life to do it anymore with sufficient safety.

Adventures await. Some are BIG and some are so deeply personal that perhaps no one but you knows that that trip to the store was an expression of your profound courage and clarity and a lot of emotional and physical therapy.

What I can assure you (and me) is that most of what we see and dream about that is outside our safe-ish (comfort) zone is going to feel conflicted at first. Some coaches and friends will say, “JUST DO IT!” and buy you a pair of Nike’s to give you extra oomph.

That doesn’t actually work for me. As something RISES that feels important for my thriving, I always seem to need a pause to get my clarity:

(1) What about this is scary? (tap tap tap)

(2) What preparations do I need, physically and emotionally?

(3) What beliefs are interfering? Are they true (and I’ll need to cope with the consequences) or are they assumptions?

(4) What makes this Matter to me? Because change takes energy, and my body-mind won’t expend energy on something that doesn’t REALLY matter to me. Just… won’t.

It’s #4 that activates what I experience as Courage. It’s a flow of energy from the heart to the cells and systems in me… with enough fire to burn the “old stuff” and temper my steel for the experiences ahead.

You might have picked on yourself that this doesn’t all “come naturally” to you. I certainly did! I thought people were either courageous… or cowards. I’d often inner-accuse myself of cowardness when really…

(1) There were actually scary aspects to what I wanted, (2) I wasn’t prepared yet physically or emotionally, (3) I had beliefs that, if I carried with me, would impede or even ruin the experience, and (4) I only had a “want to” in my head. I didn’t yet have a stack of ways this matters to me, and I don’t actually care if everyone else sees it the same way!

If we don’t tend to these aspects, all of them, we end up living a life that is “safe-ish.” It isn’t particularly juicy for us. We cope with a dose of existential angst because we’re not growing. Our body is signaling its decline from lack of YES! Living… but we are not sure what to do about it.

Well, those of us who explore emotional freedom DO know what to do about it! We do the four steps. Then we take small steps – baby steps – and really squeeze the emotional juiciness from each micro-step. Yum!