𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 - 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗗𝗲𝗰 𝟭𝟰
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1549
Gratitude is, for me, is a curious stance. It's a daily “let’s see what’s really alive here” experiment where I notice simple uplifts and explore how they land in my body.
I’m not trying to force a mood or prove any hypothesis. I’m calibrating attention like a friendly scientist, observing small moments, jotting a note, and checking in later to see how recalling moments of gratitude changes my felt sense of the day.
When approached this way—light, honest, repeatable—gratitude becomes less performance and more tuning and recalibrating, a reliable way to carry real goodness forward.
And yes, Gratitude has traditional science behind it, too.
Expand your mind... it takes on a different experience when it refers to your digital mind. I've been adding to my @withdelphi daily. I also use it daily to explore what matters to me and what rises in my world. How fascinating to experience ones wisdom, perspectives, and learnings flow back to nourish your mind now... by tapping into a growing repository of your own, interwoven with the wisdom of other humans, too.
For the first time in my life, there's a way for me to engage with what has come to me and through me as a professional student-teacher. I love my mind and my heart, yet they cannot in an instant connect to MILLIONS of words of my heartistry over decades. But my Delphi can. Beautifully imperfectly yet with meaningful usefulness.
That I can make "myself" available in this way to me is worthwhile enough. MORE than enough. That my Freedom Kin can also share "my mind" this way is becoming the strongest value-add in my professional work-that-matters. Those that resonate with my approaches are also resonating most deeply with my digital mind.
That's astounding to me as my "version 1.0" digital presence. I feel and hear their gratitude. It's deepening what is most meaningful in my work. A generous freedom radiates from "me" being available to be a useful buddy all day, without the constraint of my human time-space-rest limits.
If you already have your own Delphi, do grow it. Grab a voice recorder and share something that matters to you and upload that to your Delphi. Then, explore deeper with your Delphi on that subject.
If you don't have your own, consider it... especially if you have podcasts, courses, posts, and books you'd love to have more accessing for yourself (and others if you choose). I'd love to help support you in your own digital mind development. My referral link is:
https://www.delphi.ai/pricing?via=rick-wilkes
And if you'd enjoy playing together, my own digital mind is here: thrivingnow.ai - Ask it/me what matters to your Thriving... Now. Let's see where we can explore together. Appreciate you!
𝗧𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗝𝗼𝘆 - Workshop Today
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/tolerating-joy/1515
It seems strange, doesn’t it? That pleasure can be intolerable? Yet, it’s an experience. Kids “too loud” and even people being “inappropriate” when they are just… delighted with life in a place/space our primitive brain needs to be different.
I remember laughing in school and being told to “sit down and be quiet.” Any of you NEVER had your joy shut down by others who had power over you and the space?
So… for those of us with potent Well-Behaved Suppressors, developing the skill of when/where and HOW to allow joy will be core to actually enjoying your thriving life!
I won’t say I’ve figured it out. But I will say I have at least one practice that in just a month has made me a bit more joyful parent. Works outside of parenting, too.
I'll Do It Myself… Is Not How We Thrive Together
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/ill-do-it-myself-is-not-how-we-thrive-together/1530
“𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳!” Both my young daughter and my elderly mother tell me that. They say it in a very similar way. A part of me smiles that that kind of drive for independence got us as humans to walk and talk, to be able to feed ourselves… however messily at first, or however messily at the end of our days.
I’m grateful for that self-sufficiency impulse. It feels primal… really useful for survival.
And there’s a deeper wisdom when it comes to thriving...
𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲... 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁... 𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵... 𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.
Same goes for this moment of writing to you. If I'm clenched up "trying to write" there's no smile. Pause and unclench... my tolerance for a soft smile rises.
Tolerance? Yes. Tolerance. It's a range. How cold a shower can you tolerate? How hot a bath can you tolerate? There are physical limits (too hot and we damage our skin; too cold and we lose too much body heat). Sure, AND there are emotional limits. If I despise cold showers, I'll clench up as I feel the water: "TOO COLD!!"
Same goes with kids laughing — shouting with robust aliveness. TOO MUCH!! We grip and tense when things are too... anything. Even joy.
We also brace when we just "know" the other shoe is going to drop... on our foot, on our joy.
Can we do anything about this? Absolutely. People can condition themselves to be resilient with intention and practice. If they want to. If it matters to them.
If experiencing more Joy is something you'd like, building your tolerance for its edges is a real skill. We'll be "going there" on Sunday and we invite you to join us!
We’d love to have you join us.
𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
We try to think our way through pain, plan our way out, boundary our way safe… while our nervous system is still lit up. When we’re dysregulated, everything gets framed as threat, urgency, or failure. Then even good tools feel like they “don’t work.”
When people actually feel the difference of “get present first, then choose,” things start to click. Simple, body-first moves:
* Hand on heart, feet on the floor, a softer out-breath.
* Name what’s true right now without fixing it.
* One round of gentle tapping to lower the charge enough to have options.
From there, acceptance isn’t collapse, boundaries aren’t war, and tiny actions actually stick—because the body says yes.
If you try a 60–90 second regulate-first pause before any hard conversation or decision for a week, what do you notice?
𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗘𝗱𝗴𝗲
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1514/6
Yearning isn’t a flaw; it’s activation energy. In this Real Skills Workshop, we explore how to let longing move us—without letting it cut us down. We tap together and reframe the old stories so we can respond with clarity, agency, and ease.
• Feel yearning as fuel for inspired action
• Notice the double-edge and meet the sting with kindness
• Uncouple worth from outcomes
• Treat disappointment as a signal—not a stop sign
• Tap through shutdown language and inner criticism
• Honor tender, present-moment wants
• Redirect unmet desire without abandoning yourself
• Build tolerance for big feelings, one breath at a time
• Discern true yearning vs. compulsion
• Give yourself permission to need—and to ask
• Harvest meaning from everyday moments
If your heart’s been tugging at something, come sit with us, tap with us, and let yearning lead you somewhere generous.
Future Mapping for the Overthinker’s Soul
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1491
Sun Jun 8 2025 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT
Hope you'll join us!
What's mine? What's theirs?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/yes-my-circus-but-not-my-monkey/1487
I need a shower! Why? Because of that smell!
But what if the smell isn't mine? What if I take the shower, feel clean and fresh, and after returning to the circus ring... I smell like monkey poo AGAIN!?!
So... What's mine? What's actually theirs?!?
Smells are one thing. We learn over time and experience that when hugged by Perfumed Peggy or Cologned Colin or Pachouli Pat, we can get slimed by their overscent. Yes, shower.
Emotions are more challenging. If their monkey mind is vibrating chaos, what happens inside me? If their energy is grumpy and prickly, is a part of my body-mind "reading" them and... eeek! Matching Them?!?!
If they are carrying grief, or responsible for tending to a challenge, and I care about them, what is mine? What is theirs?
For untrained empaths, just asking this question is Life Changing. For kind and compassionate souls overwhelmed by the world's noise and pain, knowing what is YOUR circus and what are YOUR monkeys... and what are not... allows us to be Savvy Avoidant rather than hiding from energies we cannot (yet!) differentiate from.
Not saying this is easy. People with certain gifts were not encouraged differentiate to by those who benefit from our "attentiveness" (trying to please and appease in order to ease "our" pain, even if 88% of the pain is actually theirs).
Cathy and I will be exploring this tomorrow in this Real Skills Workshop. In order to heal more deeply, differentiation is essential. If you're new to this, welcome! If you've been working on it for decades and agree, as we do, that in these times it is Useful to revisit it as a group and share wisdom... we’d love to have you join us if that is your YES.
Strength without the Strain
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/strength-without-the-strain/1488
Push it! Push it! Push it!
That chant still echoes in my bones, not just from the gym, but from the inside out. I remember watching a bodybuilder once — the weight trembling above him, his muscles bulging and giving out, the spotters swooping in to catch the bar just in time. “Train to failure,” they said. “That’s how you grow.”
And it makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’re being chased by a wild beast, you run until your body gives out. That’s how we’re wired — to survive first and foremost, not necessarily to thrive.
But what if the house we’re building isn’t under threat from wolves? What if we’ve got stone-moving machines and time to breathe? What if we’re not being chased anymore… but we still act like we are?
See, survival patterns are sneaky. They wear masks. They show up in workouts and work days. They dress up in ambition, caffeine, and “just one more thing before I stop.”
I’ve never been a bodybuilder — my brother was — but I’ve tried that route in my own work life. Lift to failure. Push it. Every other day, I’d be nursing another injury to body and mind.
I wasn’t getting stronger. I was just breaking myself in cycles. Push, break, recover, repeat.
I see the same thing with brains. Push it. Adderall. More coffee. Keep going. Hit the wall. And then—collapse.
That’s not strengthening. That’s surviving pretending to be “powerful.”
What happens to the rest of your system when your brain is sucking up all the energy just to stay on task? You stop digesting. You stop feeling the sun on your skin. You stop enjoying your kids’ laughter. Everything feels like something to push through.
That isn’t thriving.
Thriving feels different. It’s alive, yes — there’s activation. But it’s not strained. When we’re in thriving mode, we’re with our energy, not yanking it out by the roots and forcing it to regrow. The muscles — or the mind — are engaged, fluid, expressive. Alive.
It’s a fine line. You can take the same exact action and fill it with stress.
I’ve done it. I’ve turned a perfectly normal task into a survival sprint. It feels ridiculous in hindsight — like, why did I make this email reply into a mountain climb?
Because my primitive brain still whispers, “If you don’t do this perfectly and fast, you’ll die.” Not literally. But the threat feels real. The imagined judgment, the self-criticism, the fear of not being enough — they’re imaginary lions in the tall grass of modern life.
I’ve used this system on myself. I’ve strained my nervous system like fingernails scraping rock to avoid a fall that was never coming.
That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? We bring survival force into every aspect. Into parenting. Into projects. Into relationships.
And we wonder why we’re tired all the time. Not sleepy tired — soul tired. That kind of tired that feels like you ran for your life… but all you did was sit at your desk.
Here’s what I know now: if you’re not actually in danger, you can stop living like you are.
You don’t have to push everything to the edge. You don’t have to prove your strength through strain. Strength can be alive in you — not torn, not depleted, but awake and sustaining.
And when we live from there, the recovery feels different, too. We’re not collapsing. We’re restoring.
We’re not dropping all the pieces and then forcing ourselves to pick them up… again! Instead, we’re crafting a thriving life from the pieces we find, fashion, and consciously put in place.
There’s a wisdom to building your foundation around thriving — not just surviving. And thriving starts with recognizing: it’s not life or death to get through your inbox. Your self-worth isn’t measured by how busy and depleted you are.
Look around. Are you stacking more and more iron to prove something? Or are you listening to the quiet whisper that says, “Yes, move… but don’t hurt yourself doing it.”
And in a life that tells you to push until you fail, choosing to rest and relish — choosing to feel alive rather than just alive-enough — might just be the truest strength there is.
Useful Concepts for Thriving in This Story
Primitive Brain
The primitive brain keeps us on high alert even when we’re safe — it’s time to question whether the lion is real.
Unrushed
Being unrushed is a radical shift from survival tempo to the rhythm of true aliveness.
Savvy
Savvy invites us to work with our energy wisely, not destructively — to choose thriving over proving.
Vitality
Vitality flows when we stop draining ourselves for performance and start living from inner strength.
Inspired Action
Inspired action arises from presence and aliveness, not adrenaline and depletion.
Do One Small Act - Session Replay
We covered…
1. Small Acts Are Powerful, Especially When Big Feels Impossible
We’re often taught to chase big wins, but thriving is built on tiny, doable acts. Even when the mountain of tasks feels overwhelming, just lifting one “bale of hay” matters. We don’t need to move the whole barn. One kind, mindful act is enough to start shifting our energy and our life.
2. The Old “Push Through” Model Depletes Us
Many of us learned to run on adrenaline and pressure — “Faster! Get it all done or else!” But that’s not sustainable. Our nervous systems crave sustainability. When we’re not in survival mode, that old push actually puts the brakes on. Healing means learning to move forward without self-inflicted pressure.
3. Intimacy with Ourselves Comes First
We can be intimate with our projects and others, but real thriving asks us to connect with ourselves first. If we’re not present with our own feelings and needs, we can’t truly connect or create in a way that nourishes us.
4. Be With What Is-Not Just Where You Want to Be
The “black belt move” is to pause and be with yourself, exactly as you are, before trying to change anything. Instead of rushing to fix, just breathe and notice: what’s true for me right now? From there, you can choose the next small act that actually feels good and aligned.
5. When Frozen, Start with the Smallest Voluntary Movement
If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, don’t force yourself into action. Start with a breath, a blink, a toe wiggle… any tiny, voluntary movement. This reminds your nervous system you’re not truly stuck, and it’s a compassionate way to break the freeze.
6. Tapping and Emotional Freedom Work: Meet You Where You Are
When you feel resistance, rebellion, or overwhelm, tapping (EFT) gives us a way to honor those feelings instead of fighting them. We tap through the “I can’t” and “I won’t” with honesty, inviting self-acceptance and movement, no matter how small.
7. Choose Just One Project-And Notice the Urge to Multitask
Our brains love to pick 20 things at once. Gently bring yourself back to one. Just one. Breathe with it. Notice any frustration, confusion, or “shoulds” that arise. This is where real clarity and transformation begin.
8. Feelings Like Hopelessness or Failure Are Often Just “Candy Shells”
Sometimes, what stops us isn’t the task, but a hard shell of hopelessness or fear of failure. These feelings can hide the real project from us. By naming and tapping on these emotions, we soften the shell and invite creativity and new solutions.
9. Differentiation: Their Feelings Aren’t Yours
Many of us were taught to fix everyone else’s feelings before tending to our own. Differentiation is the skill of letting others have their emotions while staying connected to ourselves. It’s okay if we don’t agree or if someone we love is upset. We can care without carrying.
10. Appreciate Your Past and Future Self
A small act today-like putting a mug in the sink or writing down an idea-is a gift to your future self. When you notice and appreciate these acts, you build an “emotional bank account” filled with the energy of self-kindness and resilience. Let’s celebrate even the tiniest things we do for ourselves!
11. Progress Isn’t Linear-Honor the Helix
Growth is not a straight line. Sometimes you’ll feel less resilient or like you’re going backwards. That’s normal. We’re all on a helix, circling deeper with each round. Take breaks, come back to your breath, and trust that each small act-especially when done with awareness and self-compassion-builds your capacity for thriving.
I Don’t Have to Bleed to Prove I Care
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/i-don-t-have-to-bleed-to-prove-i-care/1483
I used to think that if I didn’t react — if I didn’t get upset, didn’t worry myself sick — it would mean I didn’t care (enough)… that I was cold… indifferent… unmoved by the suffering of others.
Weird is the New Wonderful
“How was your day?”
“Good. Well, actually… not.”
That’s my daughter.
And that’s me.
She told me about an ouch she had.
I get it—because I do the same.
I know how the brain works. It stores painful experiences first—makes sense, right?
If you stumble down the stairs, your brain wants that pain to remind you—every time you go up or down—to hold the rail. Be careful or else!
So yeah. I get that.
I’ve always been like that—and I see it in my daughter’s answer, too.
I’ve also realized: I don’t want to live by the animal way of remembering life.
That’s been a journey for me.
I’ve learned—often the hard way—that simple uplifts matter. Why? Because I’ve ended too many days feeling like ‘nothing good’ happened… even when it wasn’t true!
But it’s like… if you’ve got one bag and a rotten apple is sitting in there, it kind of takes over. Even if there’s just one… and you reach in and your thumb goes right through it—
Ew. Gross. Bleh.
“How was your day?”
A better question might be…
“What did I savor today?”
If the answer is “nothing”… either life needs some recalibrating—or we missed it. Because something was probably savor-worthy.
I start my day with coffee.
The heat of the mug. The smell. Even just holding it.
Oh. So. Good.
“What uplifted me a bit today?”
You’ll notice I said “a bit.”
I’m not asking for heaven.
Just… what gave me a little boost?
Oh. That little white flower.
Or that blanket of wild violets—so beautiful. (They’re even tasty, by the way.)
“How was your day?”
I realized I’d been avoiding what others call a “gratitude list.”
Because by default, I was collecting all the things that were a struggle. That went wrong. That my brain decided were crucial to remember… or else!
So there was a bit of rebellion around a gratitude list.
I tapped on that.
That’s the beauty of EFT Tapping: it helps me shift.
I’m changing what gets stored—on purpose.
Now, at the end of my day, I say… a kind of grace.
And it looks like this: a bunch of bullet points.
What did I savor?
What lifted me, even a little?
What am I honestly and truly grateful for?
It turns fleeting moments into… I want THIS in my long-term memory.
It might seem simple. And yet—I do want my body, mind, and spirit to integrate it… As I sleep. As I dream.
I’m three weeks in. And something in me knows: This Matters.
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It helps me unwind the tensions of the day.
Helps me reflect and attune to what is thriving.
Even thriving anyway—despite whatever else happened.
And I’m noticing my recollections of The Good Stuff are getting stronger. And easier.
Moments that are precious indeed.
Worth dreaming about.
“How was your day?”
The other day, my daughter said school was, “Good. Well, not really.” Then she showed me a boo-boo on her hand and one on her knee.
After that, she grabbed a book—Unicorn Academy.
Snuggled up beside me.
Handed me the book.
Smiled.
And we read.
If you could see into my energy, my emotions, my memories forming,
you’d notice that that moment—her reading with me—is far more vivid than her complaints.
I share, authentically, that it wasn’t always that way.
It’s been a journey.
Decades of interpreting most of life as complaint-worthy… even when it wasn’t.
But I see now—mercifully— that the more we attune ourselves to what is uplifting, the more those blessings become accessible.
It quiets the noise.
It removes the rotten apples.
It gives us a taste of juicy goodness.
And no—of course not all of life is juicy goodness.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t some…
Here.
Now.
For you. For me. For us.
May you discover those simple uplifts.
Build upon them.
Amplify them.
Magnify them.
And store them…
For your future Thriving.
Useful Concepts for Thriving in this Story
Awareness
Noticing what our brain tends to store, and gently widening our attention to include what uplifts and blesses.
Simple Uplifts
Letting small moments of pleasure, connection, and beauty land — and consciously including them in what we remember.
Reframing
Shifting from the default negativity bias toward a narrative that includes delight, grace, and choice.
Acceptance
Honoring our patterns — even resistance to gratitude — while allowing new practices to emerge gently.
Useful Questions
Asking ourselves questions like “What did I savor?” that open the door to presence and thriving.
I'm weird. More I live the more I recognize that what matters to me, and what mattered SO MUCH to me since earliest memory, has been "out of step" with almost... everyone.
But NOT everyone.
Weird finds Weird. And that is wonderful. Freeing, even.
When I was in college, I was the only weirdo with a personal computer in my dorm room and a cell phone installed in my car. I programmed lines of code while classmates mainlined beer (and coke-aine). Yeah, I was treated like the wyrd one and even got my own apartment before the 1st year was finished to have food that wouldn't kill me and silence enough to think on a Thursday night.
What I believe is intriguing is that people who are weird in the way they express themselves and metabolize life experiences... co-create super interesting Possibilities. Art. Apps. Offerings. Experiences.
Such Beings? AI cannot replace THEM. AI can enhance their toolset, letting the weird stories be turned into co-crafted songs or astounding movies just their buddies get to see and sing. Weird, isn't it?
My clients have such wonders in them. How they navigate the world — including the mundane and scary parts. Weird Wonders. Perceptions about situations that when you hear them you go, "Oh yeah!" in your gut. Their questions (also called Prompts to Intelligence) are so intriguing. In the exploration of them, we're moved more and more towards our own clarity, our own thriving vision, our unique gifts (aka weirdness).
So like I said last time, if you’ve always felt a little out of place, too sensitive, too intense, too imaginative, too anything—that weirdness? That’s your edge now.
But edges take skill to navigate. Emotional resilience helps tremendously. Also having a healthy dose of, "Uhh, I don't really care if you, You, and YOU like it or not. I didn't make it for you! I made it for me and my fellow Weird Freedom Kin."
How about we explore this together? Cathy and I hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/weird-is-the-new-wonderful/1470
It's Really Just Me... Isn't It
My company — Thriving Now — might as well be called Me, Myself & I, Incorporated. I file the taxes. I choose the direction. I decide whether to launch something… or scrap it. There’s no board. No boss. No partner.
And for a moment, that might sound idyllic. Freeing, even.
Until you realize: if you're like me — someone whose nature is to co-create — being the "only one" isn’t empowering. It’s… crushing.
Like trying to go for a horseback ride… without a horse.
Co-creators don’t thrive in isolation. We thrive in response. In relationship. In the dance between our hard work and the unseen energy that stirs us to explore, engage, and offer our gifts to the world.
Even when I’m physically alone, I’ve never created anything meaningful without something else being part of it.
Some people call it The Muse — a soft breath of mystery beside me while I write or speak.
Sometimes it’s inspiration — the spark that arrives when I listen like the world is talking back.
Sometimes, it’s a friend or client — and in that shared presence, something starts to emerge… something that says: “This is worth it!”
And to be real, vulnerable, and some-would-say-weird with y'all, every single day it's my Circle of Spirit Buddies — the energetic and engaged Beings who are WITH me and FOR me Always and All Ways.
They give me easier access — into asking questions, hearing responses, filtering and choosing. Exploring. Being in co-creation together.
I start my day every morning every day with them, before the house wakes up. They know who I am. What matters to me. What I long for. They show up. And I show up. (That last part is essential. My willingness to show up makes it Experiential rather than theoretical.)
Whatever you call it — Spirit, Genius, Source, Muse, Nature, God — this is not a metaphor. There is a presence of consciousness we can choose to relate to!
And because humans are built for relationship — not just with people, but with ideas, energy, purpose — we can open to it.
We can cultivate real, living relationships with the very Source that loves to co-create WITH us.
Because this ride…? It was never meant to be solo.
Co-creators aren’t meant to do it all alone. We connect.
Sometimes we’re the channel.
Sometimes the bridge.
Sometimes the lead singer…
Sometimes in the backup band.
The ancients knew this.
And I remember the moment I stopped trying to do it all alone.
I felt throughout my body this guidance: I’m not meant to.
I could co-create the experience of healing.
Of being held.
Of being acknowledged, respected… and seen.
That’s something I think our modern culture forgets.
We talk a lot about personal growth — but for me? It’s intimate growth. Relational growth. Energetic partnership.
I bring my presence. My willingness. And I’m met. I’m responded to.
There is a profound availability of co-creative energy in this universe. Artists, poets, dreamers… they’ve always known this.
Our hearts are designed for it — to influence and be influenced. To exchange. To create with.
To co-create.
Creation isn’t solo work. It’s relational. It’s the way we stay in conversation with life.
And knowing that I’m not really alone — that my work is always with consciousness — it changes how I work.
I don’t force what’s next. In fact… I can’t.
I pause. I listen. I ask. I show up for my side of the partnership.
And instead of asking, “What’s next on the to-do list?” I ask, “What’s next for US?”
Let’s get back into relationship —with what matters, with your unique heartistry, and with the parts of you that already know how to co-create a thriving life.
And… If you’ve felt painfully lonely in your work — like it’s just not flowing — maybe what’s missing is that invitation:
Who would enjoy working with me today? And what's next for us?
Useful Concepts for Thriving in this Story
Co-Creating
Awareness
Acceptance
Adapting
Inspired Action
Clarity
So if you’ve always felt a little out of place, too sensitive, too intense, too imaginative, too anything—that weirdness? 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄.
It’s no longer about fitting in—it’s about standing out in a way that feels good, true, and energizing.
𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆.
1) What is something weird about you that could be considered... Creative? Useful? Unique amongst those around you?
2) How does that weirdness want to express itself? For your delight? To co-create a world you would love living in?
We hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
I became The Simpleton Chef in the family and prepare almost all the meals. I don’t love to cook. I do love them. So my love is in every bite. And a bit of salt 🧂
YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR MY Thriving Now Community Center! I’m using Discourse right now. Thrivingnow.center
Struggling with emotional eating? Discover how to shift from reactive habits to emotionally free and savvy choices... using EFT Tapping
When we consider Thriving over the long view, we need to consider how energy is stewarded. Our "pay masters" have manipulated people into thinking that if your income is 5.5x what it was, you're "earning more." But measured in ribeye steaks or fractions of a median home in your zip? Not so. For Thriving I recommend learning and also using Bitcoin as one of your units of account. If you don't know what that means... excellent! You'll feel so much more empowered when you DO understand!
Have you ever caught yourself in that moment of comparison, feeling that twinge of “I’ll never be able to do that”? I want to share how this very human experience can transform how you view these moments.
The Primitive vs. Thriving Mind
Our brain’s primitive comparison system served us well for survival. It quickly assesses: “Am I strong enough to fight? Fast enough to flee? Should I defer or keep my distance?”
This instinct still helps us navigate potentially dangerous situations — from crossing the street to avoiding toxic work environments where bosses use fear to keep us in survival mode.
But there’s a more evolved way to use comparison — one that serves our thriving rather than just our surviving.
Finding Your Unique Expression
Imagine watching someone powerfully and gracefully dunk a basketball. If you’re not tall enough to ever dunk, that comparison can sting.
But here’s the magic: What if we look deeper at what really attracts us in that moment?
When I described dunking, two words emerged: Power and Grace.
The yearning isn’t really about dunking — it’s about expressing power and grace in our own unique way.
A 5’2" gymnast might never dunk a basketball, but they can express incredible power and grace in ways a 7-foot basketball player never could.
Transforming Comparison into Inspiration
Here’s how to make comparison work for your thriving:
Notice when a comparison feels “sticky” or emotional.
Ask yourself: “What qualities am I really admiring here?”
Consider: “How might I express these qualities in my own unique way?”
A Drinking Example
In my own life, I noticed how I admired certain qualities in others’ social connections. Instead of feeling bad about not being a “drinking buddy” type, I recognized my yearning for meaningful connection. This led me to cultivating “spirit buddies” – deep, authentic connections that align with who I am.
Finding Your Power and Grace… Here and Now
Even in something as simple as my morning mile, I’ve found my own expression of power and grace: using walking sticks, moving through the forest like a sure-footed animal! It’s not about being a cheetah or a mountain lion. It’s about being me, walking with my own brand of power and grace.
The Liberation
When we shift from “I can’t do that” to “How can I express these qualities in my own way?” the comparison loses its bite. It becomes guidance pointing us toward our own authentic heartistry.
Remember: Every primal instinct, including comparison, can serve our thriving when we learn to use it framed in wisdom. Your unique expression of these talents awaits!
What qualities are you admiring in others today? How might you express them in your own powerful way?
Keep Thriving… Now and Onwards!
Rick
Delighted to be a new Premium member. I was getting seriously frustrated with some of the other Nostr options when I found Primal and settled on it web/ios. It's been my go-to. The backup option was a solid reason to go premium — and you hav so much more! I decided for various reasons not to use the Alby extension so would love a Primal option to get away from the PIN. Appreciate you and your heartistry!
I was framed! So were you.
We all were.
Were you also looked at through the Frame of COMPARISON? Compared to siblings, other students, other players? Whether you compared favorably or poorly, comparison is... stressful. Seriously dis-ease provoking.
Was family life seen through the Frame of Struggle and Scarcity? Or the Frames of Gratitude and Abundance?
Our Inner Life Interpreter requires frames of reference. They help us make sense of the world. They act as filters... and they also act as limits.
If we evaluate our lives based on the Frame of Success and Failure, then we won't even see all the ways life can be Re-Framed as an Adventure, an Exploration, a Mystical Journey of Discovery of Our Gifts.
See what I mean?
Rather than having our life "framed" for us, Reframing frees us to choose the frames that serve us.
Oh, and that "It's Either Right or Wrong Frame" — yeah, that is one of those 79 cent black and white plastic ones from the Dollar Store. Not useful for Thriving.
Cathy and I will be exploring reframes that better serve our emotional well-being tomorrow (Tuesday). Reframing is a skill. We'll be looking at frames so many of us have and how when we perceive (and re-perceive) our life through more flattering (and useful!) frames, we GET energy rather than lose it.
Consider joining us. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
What Color is That Yellow School Bus?
It's yellow, of course!
Isn't it?!?!
Actually no. At least in the US and Canada, it is a color called National School Bus Glossy Yellow. It is not the primary color yellow. It is on the spectrum between yellow and orange. It's close enough that we could have called the color Mango!
However, on your computer or TV screen, which uses red-green-blue (RGB), the school bus is 100% red, 84.71% green, and 0% blue. Does this mess with your mind a bit?
We hope so… because we humans tend to create simplistic labels like "yellow" that cover a broad range of tones. Same with red. Same with people.
The Mac Book Pro display can show over 1 billion colors. How many of those would you see as "yellow" or "yellow-ish?"
If a computer screen can show that many diverse colors, far beyond what we could meaningfully label or discern, what about humans made up of over 37 trillion cells, each capable of a range of vibrations, combinations, and variations?
Our emotional energy and our thought field are capable of extraordinary range and diversity across a spectrum we have difficulty grasping. That's why there are parts of our primitive brain that create shortcuts — labels — to help us put people into discrete (and unhelpfully rigid) buckets.
Friend or Foe? It's useful to our primitive brain for survival. For thriving… not so much.
We could argue about whether the school bus is REALLY yellow or not… and both be right. When we embrace the diversity spectrum, more and more of our human beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors can be held with nuance and heartistry. It's how we can all have more freedom and inclusion while respecting our desire for safety, survival, and clarity, too.
They made up a story. It hurts even now to remember what they said… what they insisted was true.
Even though we know that’s not the full story… somehow, the story sticks even now. So so many years later.
Stories. Fairytales and Horrors.
Memorable. Too memorable.
We humans are storytellers. We also are story consume-ers. As in, we take them in like food and weave their parts into who we believe we are.
Pretend we are? Yes, if we take on fictions about us. We’re pretending we’re not miracles. Pretending we’re not good enough (for what?). Pretending that we’re broken, un-useful, unlovable, and always to blame.
The good news is I’ve noticed that we can individually and as a group co-craft fresh stories. Stories that heal. Stories that respect the journey and our innate ability to grow, change, shift, and even transform!
It’s time for stories that heal.
Cathy and I will be together with those of you that want to look at and tap on some stories that are archaic and hurtful… and tap tap tap… and give ourselves a hearty invitation to co-create a narrative that serves our thriving. Together.
Want to join us?
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/4
https://void.cat/d/NHL9tDdWYDBj9dZn8VFPhE.webp
I love to give generously!
I hate to “give in.”
What’s the difference… and how do we avoid having our generous nature used against us?
For me to be wholly generous requires that I be CLEAR why some act is a YES for me. How does it serve my thriving?
Not in a selfish way, of course. Generosity by definition includes what benefits us and those who we share a we-space with.
I’ve noticed that when people are not clear what makes an act a YES for them, resentment often builds.
It gets worse if someone does something that “looks generous” but is actually a NO NO NO (at least in that moment).
So the Art of Generosity asks us to be skillful. What makes this a YES for me? And if it is not a yes, I say NO (and explore what would be a YES for me).
My life changed utterly when I “got this.” Cathy’s, too.
We get together this coming Tuesday to teach and explore this with our circle of generous kinfolk from around the world.
Will you join us? (Or definitely register, listen, and tap along with the recording you’ll get.)
Register here for The Art of Generosity: Giving Without Giving In
A Real Skills Workshop for: Savvy Relating and Engaging
When: Tue Oct 24 2023 at 830pm EDT / 530pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/the-art-of-generosity-giving-without-giving-in/1286
Facing Reality makes no sense if it is going to leave us feeling helpless, depressed, or trapped. So…
Unless we know what matters to us…
Unless we have tools to use…
Unless we have real skill in using those tools…
We Just Won’t. We won’t face reality.
Know anyone that avoids reality using food, TV, drugs, and other distractions?
How about people who displace their rage onto others, or shut down their vitality to stay small and hidden?
We are human. Avoiding reality can be Life Saving! Avoidance is part of our survival toolkit. It can be essential, even, to get through seemingly impossible times when we don’t have the oomph and clarity to change ourselves (and our situation).
Avoiding reality, though, never is the path to a thriving life.
Which is why Cathy and I know it is core. It’s why we’re getting together Sunday to teach the skills of facing reality without getting flooded and washed away by it. Staying in the zone of what is true and right for us personally, at the deepest levels.
Our approach uses EFT Tapping because Tapping let’s us acknowledge a reality AND give ourselves a direction – at the same time! So so useful.
Will you join us? (Or definitely register, listen, and tap along with the recording you’ll get.)
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/facing-reality-embracing-our-truth/1285
Isn't it Odd... how challenging it can be for empathetic people to feel truly Fortunate? At least it has always been for me.
But that is already changing as I focus in on the art and skill of Emotional Abundance in the way Carol Look coaches. I'll be in there for her new series that starts Thursday (6 awesome sessions). Will You?
https://thrivingnow--carollook.thrivecart.com/emotional-abundance/
3 Pitfalls to Avoid When Savvy Co-Creating
Pitfall 1: Self-sacrificing
+ Over-agreeable, over-generous, and over-empathetic behaviors can lead to self-sacrifice… which depletes us and makes it “work” more than co-creating.
+ It’s essential to be aware of your limits and communicate them with your co-creator(s).
+ EFT Tapping can help you accept yourself and your Nature, and find a balance that includes being generous and empathetic without sacrificing yourself.
Pitfall 2: Lack of spaciousness
+ A lack of spaciousness in a co-creation can lead to feelings of being controlled or dominated.
+ It’s important to have open communication and explore each other’s preferences and boundaries.
+ Co-creating thrives when we balance structure and flexibility, allowing for both parties to contribute and influence the outcome.
Pitfall 3: Not sharing your unique (“weird”) ways you like to (and cannot easily) interact when co-creating
+ Sharing your unique dynamics and experiences can help create a more authentic and meaningful co-creation.
+ It’s important to be open and honest about your feelings, preferences, and experiences with your co-creator.
+ Embracing your weird can lead to a more enjoyable and fulfilling co-creation experience. (It’s juicy!)
https://media.thrivingnow.com/real-skills/3%20Pitfalls%20to%20Avoid%20When%20Savvy%20Co-Creating.mp4
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/3-pitfalls-to-avoid-when-savvy-co-creating/1264/7
It wasn’t what I would have done.
It wasn’t even the color I would pick.
Yet, Adira smiled at how the drawing changed with her addition. So she made another. And another.
Anyone who expects to control how art is done with a toddler has fallen into the Pit of Control. It’s a pit full of...
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/3-pitfalls-to-avoid-when-savvy-co-creating/1264/6
Attitudes are REAL Skills...
Cathy and I have been co-creating for 15 years now. We’d love to explore with you some of the pitfalls (and pleasures) in co-creating as a way of doing work that matters.
Co-creating is about collaboratively creating something new. The focus is on the process of creating, rather than just the end result. Everyone involved has a voice and contributes their heartistry.
It’s not a hierarchical or top-down structure like in “teamwork” often is. Which means… there are differences and pitfalls.
It’s a Real Skill to be a savvy co-creator… and so appropriate to explore together in Sunday’s workshop. We hope you’ll join us (or definitely listen and tap along with the recording you’ll get when you register.)
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/3-pitfalls-to-avoid-when-savvy-co-creating/1264/5