I'm happy to be proven wrong, but the lack of replies seems quite telling. From all of my research I have come to believe that this is because self-custody lightning is horrendously time consuming and expensive. My understanding is that the amount of money you have to put up up front in order to be able to properly get started opening channels with a self-custody lightning node is definitely a substantial limiting factor, and while it's possible to start a lightning node with less up front, it can increase the difficulty exponentially.
Discussion
Yeah.. I'm hoping I just didn't reach the right people but idk I see people saying all the time how lightning can be done "right" so its just as or even more private than monero. Like if that's true, then I'm willing to put in the effort to set it up (assuming I can afford it lol) but I want to hear from someone who's done it themselves too because there's too many different guides online that seem to take very different paths.