There's an elaborate model (called the outbox model, that I don't understand btw) to help solve that problem. This mechanism makes relays connect to each other in a way I don't know yet 😅.

The main problem of nostr (including this general "ghosting" situation) is that it's largely neglected in technological terms because there almost no one programming the software seriously and reliably. Most projects today are just "vibe-coding", "hack-around" horrors.

The good thing is that this is a protocol. There can exist people with integrity at any point in time. If they

come together to make a reliable system of apps and infrastructure, they will have a huge impact in everything else nostr-related. It's sort of a critical mass that will then incentivize others to work better