I'm on a #diet that sounds like it was designed by a confused #rabbit - #veggies, #pasta, and whatever else makes my plate look like a #food #festival. But here's the kicker: I'm protein-starved. I thought about #avocados, right? The green #gold of the #health world, but finding a ripe one? It's like looking for a needle in a haystack while blindfolded. And the price? Forget about it, you need a second mortgage.

Then there's the #egg dilemma. Eggs are supposed to be this #protein powerhouse, but my doc's got me scared, saying they'll spike my #cholesterol like it's a bad stock market day. And let's not even talk about the #statins - I'm paying an arm and a leg for those, and they're not exactly giving me #superpowers.

My doctor's telling me to cut #carbs, but how? Am I supposed to eat my salad with a fork and a dream? I'm telling ya, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube in the dark over here.