I highly recommend nostr.wine as they take care of some relay aggregation and rebroadcasting for you that other paid relays don’t. I joined a few though. You can always click on someone’s profile to see what relays they are on. I think some other tools like gossip might let you query your follows relay’s in a smarter way

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My client doesn't have this relay feature. Please consider people are using different clients on nostr protocol.

The person I am talking to has specifically said she’s using Damus, but generally point taken. Hopefully most clients are making relays visible by now in some form or another

Thanks!

Oh! I don’t use it but nos.mom (alternative to nos.lol) is supposedly a free filtered relay if you want to test the waters before going full bore on paid relays

You can test paid relays without paying. To read is always free and you get rid of spam.

Good point I always forget that 😅