Wife parked the car today about 14 inches from the curb. As we were leaving, she asked, “Should I move it closer?” And before I could answer, she said, “It’s fine, I’ll leave it.”

But I could tell it bothered her. She fancies herself a champion parallel parker, certainly thinks she’s better than I am, and it had to hurt for me to witness such a poor performance.

So I said, “Yeah, it’s fine. But you realize it brings up your life’s average-distance-from-the-curb number above mine.”

She didn’t agree, but I assured her 14 inches would move the needle a lot, and no matter what would always negatively impact her life’s average.

Have a feeling the next few times I take the car, I’ll find it snug af against the curb.