There is zero doubt in my mind that my life would be more fruitful in all aspects without alcohol- better health, more energy, better relationships, better father, more SATs, better spiritual connection to the universe etc... but I've yet to be able to consistently say no for more than a few days for the past 5 years in my life. I've thought i hit rock bottom a few times in the past few years, only to repeat after that shame wears off.

It is certainly a demon.