Why do his fingers look like that?

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arthritis, high salt levels, allergic reactions, medication side effects... the list is long.

Fiat reasons

Impending heart failure.

He’s inbred

So he can pin all those metals on his chest

He does absolutely nothing. He has a boy do it for him hence why he has such fat spoilt fingers

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One can only hope he took every vaccine on offer and this is his just desserts

Because they are made of sausage?

Because he's stuffed into a skinsuit?

Which one is photoshopped? πŸ€”

Puppets aren't usually anatomically correct.

Probably sucks a typing but his boyfriend probably likes him.

Steroids?

Because of where he puts them.