My father divorced my mother when I was a child because "after 5 years I was miserable" and still to this day he (A) refuses to own it, repent, and ask for my forgiveness and (B) demands I give his second wife the honor that belongs to my mother alone.
God please bring him from this sin. 🙏
#ToChristAlone
Was your dad supposed to stay miserable?!
People’s problems don’t disappear because they get a divorce. Both of my parents were married three times each. “They weren’t happy”. We even experience these ebbs and flows with ourselves throughout life. Marriage is a commitment. When you’re miserable in a marriage, you work to make it better. Often that work is with yourself.
You can't make him repent and admit he is wrong, but you can repent of your anger and forgive him for being pathetic
I have forgiven him.
The hard reality is that, by clinging to sin, refusing to accept it, insisting I swear fealty to his second wife, dishonoring my mother, he has forced me to place a boundary around him.
I love my dad, but I love my mom, too.
I totally understand. It's too much to ask. However, your mother should also not be left completely indemnified in the matter. You can love all three, and not be susceptible to your mothers jealousy. Your father insisting you kiss his new wife's ring, on the other hand, is also crossing the line. Just remember, your time with all of them is limited.
My mom did the exact same thing. Love my mom, but she treats people like pawns in her life. Boundaries had to be set.
I had a similar occurrence
Divorce is more damaging than most people can fully grasp, especially if they didn’t grow up in a divorced family.
It should be avoided at all costs. If your marriage is miserable, fix it. Put in the work.
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My parents split when I was 16. After 26 years of marriage. It was mutual, but I couldn't really comprehend it at the time. They raised us with such a strong sense of family, then one day it all just seemed to end.
Both of them eventually remarried, and both demanded the same honor to their new spouses that you describe. And both became very nasty towards the other. Each wanted me to " choose sides."
I politely refused both requests. And just continued loving both of my parents (not so much the new spouses).
10 years later each of my parents expressed (independently) their regret of their devorce.
This is a long post to say I know exactly how you feel. Your Dad's desire to have you affirm his new wife is natural, and it is a sign of how much he respects you and needs your affection and affirmation.
You don't owe any respect to his new wife until she earns it and she certainly doesn't demand the same respect as your mother.
But Don't forsake your dad. Talk to him. Work out you feelings. This doesn't sound like a sin to me, only something you may not like ...
My parents split when I was young.
My mom committed no adultery or any other sin that permits divorce.
Dad wasn't happy, figured 5 years is enough to break the family up.
Had me call my step "mom".
Didn't father me up close to be fair to my step brothers.
Now that I have kids he wants step to have my mother's rights and privileges as grandma.
Gonna be a big no from me.
I don't trust her. Don't like her. Don't love her.
I can bless his second marriage, but I don't want to be a part of it anymore.
