There is a moment where a man’s touch can move from generative to extractive. A woman who is connected to her body can feel it. And the thing is, often the man is simply following the thread of his arousal/ desire. He does not know where that line is without feedback.

That’s because the line is determined by the woman’s system.

And it occurs at the spot where a part of her gets left behind. Where she is no longer fully seen. The question is, is he still seeing and being with her entirety, which will inherently be more vulnerable for him and her (and more nourishing), or is he ignoring aspects to take what he can get?

Her body can be turned on and alive but yet she can feel that moment when in order to keep allowing, she will be leaving a piece of herself behind. This is where the connection moves beyond the physical. And if she leaves a piece behind, he can’t meet it. It is actually impossible.

It is always her responsibility to notice this and adjust things. Always.

Women have not been taught how to distinguish this. And even more, we haven’t been taught it’s our responsibility to communicate about it.

And then we’ve demonized men for plowing through our invisible boundaries that we didn’t even know we had.

To master this spot as a woman might be one of the most important things you could do.

The same pattern plays out in your entire life. Not just in romance and sex.

It is something you must experience in real time. You must slow down enough to feel the subtle shifts. And you must not blame him for doing what he’s designed to you. This is how we dance.

Add for the men: to know this and not take her adjustment personally will be life changing.