I appreciate your sharing and this interaction.

I don't believe in a biblical vengeful sky dictator either, which sounds like a natural extension of the cult you grew up within, and one or more male leaders who may have been in your life who would fit something like that description, since people often get their impressions of what God is like from their father.

I need to move on from this interaction, but I want to leave you with some thoughts. The universe and reality are entirely knowable and God, who is perfect love and is good, picture the perfect father, kind and truthful, loving and just, compassionate and merciful and faithful and intimate, and the most humble and powerful of all, ready to serve, wants to know you and restore you completely, without making your life choices for you. He wants you to be maximally free, and free to be who you are. He wants to help you make your life Heaven on Earth. I know this will be hard for you to hear and believe, but it is true, because I know Him, having overcome something not totally unlike the impression you have of Him.

And He waits for you with open arms.

Bless you Hannah on your journey.