A wife is supposed to submit to a husband's leadership because a husband is expected to serve his wife, and if need be die for his wife and offspring. There's no way to manage that effort and risk without some form of situational control.

The only reason any argument about this takes place today in some successful countries is because that situational control was given, managed well through patriarchy and we enjoy the fruits of it today where things are so safe, calm and soft that people can act like this survival strategy was never necessary.