My date from past Sunday said she "really enjoyed herself but didn't have any romantic feelings".
Many girls told me this after first dates and I will never understand. I never felt anything for someone after 3 hours in a cafe๐ฅฒ #wtf #hopeless
Discussion
Maybe try a different kind of first date where youโre both doing something, like a nature hike. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Yeah, a "just hanging out" type of date is a great idea ๐ฏ. Like an activity you'd enjoy on your own but could be enhanced bringing someone along. Ironically the stereotypical "dates" are pretty abstracted and unrelated to 90% of ongoing activities in a real relationship.
And donโt ignore the mind-body connection. If you get her heart rate up, that will have more impact, emotionally, than a static activity.
Hikes are bad first dates because she might not feel safe enough to be alone with you yet
People want something instant.
Anything quick to be felt in a attraction is usually lust, not romantic feelings.
People also confuse the two.
Yes this was my theory actually.
The relationships I had and people I loved only happend after really getting to know someone for days. Never knew jack shit after 2 hours, besides lust indeed ๐ฅฒ
Exactly, a rejection after a few hours means very little. You're doing great. Keep working to be your authentic unrestricted self and weed out those that will make those quick judgments. You'll be okay ๐ซ
ending the date with one of these lines always worked for meโฆ
โgirl, you turn my floppy disk
into a hard driveโ
& or
โgirl, you know the best relationships are a lot like the Universe
they start with a big bangโ
I'm sorry. That sucks.
In a way it's a time saver though. Not wasting time on someone that strings you along, or puts you in the friend zone.
I feel you. I used to call myself the "Mayor of Friendsville."
Now I'm married with numerous kids.
The more No you hear, the faster you get to Yes. I hope that happens soon for you. You deserve it.
"I used to call myself the "Mayor of Friendsville."
๐ฅฒ๐ฅฒ I feel you man that's def me also right about now.
"The more No you hear, the faster you get to Yes. "
I do really like this perspective, you are absolutely correct in this.
Thanks man I appreciate it and feel a bit better! TY! ๐ซ๐
The way people describe their feelings of attraction is disguised in semantics. This psychology of beating around the bush is part of the process. Learn to classify rejection for what it is. It is no use chasing after someone who rejected you, nor is it any use trying to convince them of your potential value to them. Your self esteem has nothing to do with how someone else sees you, keep it that way. You are an admirable person, you will find someone who sees that.
Man you are so smart! And this is so true, though I could never put it into words as you did.
Gonna let this sink in today and re-read it a couple times.
Thank you ๐ซ๐
Friend zoneโฆ maybe try to brush fingers & hold a hand on a first date(?)
That way youโll get a quicker response, and it will be more of you noticing the signs ๐ชง
๐ฅน Iโm rooting for you! ๐ฅณ
I don't think you need to worry! ๐ซ๐ That sounds normal to me
It usually means that the didn't feel chemistry and don't want to continue. Or did not like something but it's easier to say it that way. It's normal that ppl are not 100% honest and just say a generic "didn't have feelings".
If this person is from a dating app, its quite normal andfairt in a way. Dating apps have a lot of hit and miss...
Just keep being you and you shall find someone that returns the energy you give.
The honesty you got definitely beats any other option.๐ซ
Thanks man! I wish I was as hopefull... It seems finding a partner in life is just a paradox, expend efford and it won't happen because you're looking for it, don't expend efford and opportunities are more likely to pass by. So tired of spending energy on this problem ๐ฅฒ๐