On Nostr, people see you in a few ways. The best way is to show up in their notifications by reacting, commenting, boosting, and, most significantly, zapping their notes (saying good morning and good night to others is like free engagement farming). The second way is via hashtags. And the third is by being followed.
Other clients like Primal will have something like a trending list for notes that have received a lot of zaps. More clients will come out with various algorithms over time that users can curate to their own needs.
You want to be connected to 10-15 relays that are fairly popular. Every now and then, check out the relay list of other people, and if you see that you're not connected to one that a lot of others are connected to, drop one of your lesser ones for that one. Think about joining a couple paid relays like nostr.wine too.