Having them visible to the user at all makes the UX too alienating to nearly all non-techie potential users. It should be something almost entirely handled in the background, as any potential to get it wrong without understanding it will worsen your experience.
The average human should not need to be educated about how nostr works for it to be appealing and useful, or it won’t succeed.
Yes and no. I do agree that things must “just work” but I don’t fully agree that they shouldn’t be educated on how nostr works. Plenty of technology has a learning curve. iPhone, email, hell… video chat for many people. There’s nothing wrong with having the users learn a few things about the platform they use, people are not that stupid. But yes, things should just work the moment you land. Showing relays in settings is not an issue IMO as long as you explain how they work (but the user is not required to make any changes for things to work).
Somewhere in the middle there would be perfect, but still… 
