we need to move to “ecological wisdom”
our relationships are our biospheres
we're in them. we depend on them
Discussion
it isn't about one wins, one loses.
it's about taking care of your biosphere out of your own enlightenedself-interest
it's in my interest to keep my biosphere clean
we want the mighty to melt
we want the weak to stand up
your biosphere
if you tend to be more of the dominant, pushy one, you need to come down off your high horse and really be with your partner.
open up.
yield.
surrender.
if you're one down—more the traditional enabler, codependent, shame-based—you need to rise up.
we want the mighty to melt
we want the weak to stand up
we cannot love from the one up.
we cannot love from the one down.
love demands democracy.
same as
neither better nor worse
but if you're used to being conflict-avoiding, people-pleasing, burying your own wants and needs, standing up and challenging the relationship feels dangerous.
here's the bad news: it is
it is dangerous
relationships are dangerous