You're right that's the way to go. I have to step up and become Uncle Jim, and rely on the likes of Blue for reasonable UX/UI.

I've been running a raspiblitz forever, not the most reliable hardware or intuitive software, but maybe I'll take another look in Q1.

What's your node setup nostr:nprofile1qqsxzsz83jdwztcapd2qulzhspnyjvn6jxcypvrl0w3aahp40j4smfgpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpz4mhxue69uhk2er9dchxummnw3ezumrpdejqzyrhwden5te0dehhxarj9emkjmn976av6t?

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My friends-and-family Lightning server is a BTCPayServer hosted by Luna node. If you want to go this route, it’s pretty easy. Instructions: https://docs.btcpayserver.org/Deployment/LunaNode/

My instance size is c.1, for the storage space. It had been some smaller/cheaper VM, but I ran out of storage after ~4 years and had to upgrade. The upgrade process was painless—handled entirely from LunaNode’s web UI.

The LndHUB plugin isn’t installed in BTCPayServer by default, but it’s easy to enable. Once you have that, you can use Blue Wallet to create custodial accounts. The Blue Wallet user funds their wallet using an onchain TX, then immediately has a Lightning balance to use.

BTCPayServer comes with Ride the Lightning (RTL) and ThunderHub. Either can be used for channel management. I tend to use ThunderHub, but I’ve used both.

You can also connect to your BTCPayServer Lightning node from Zeus for mobile management. I use this to check on flows in-and-out and to make sure I still have enough liquidity.

When I send zaps, it’s from Damus. Clicking the zap button opens Blue Wallet, which uses the above for the outgoing zap. For incoming zaps, they don’t appear in Blue Wallet, but they do appear in Zeus, because my zap address is my BTCPayServer. Since I’m the only person currently receiving zaps, this works for me.

I haven’t looked deeply into what it would take to have friends-and-family zap receipts. I’m sure there’s a way to do it, maybe LNbits? Maybe someday I’ll figure it out.