I want to do Nostr correctly. Non custodial, distributed relays, max reach, able to send and receive sats … what stack do I need ? macOS/iPhone. What’s the current best doco place for nostr ?

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Hmm. For distributed relays and max reach you'd want to use a Blastr relay such as nostr.mutinywallet.com.

For sending and receiving sats in a non-custodial way, I guess the two best options here are Zeus or Mutiny, but I'm still a fan of running your own node and infrastructure if you have the technical capability.

Not sure how you'd do that in Apple ecosystem tbh.

If you had a Linux computer or am android device you'd have options.