Caught this dude chillin on the roof this morning.

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Looks like he was trying to steal your private keys.

Did he say meep meep as a coyote ran into a painting of a tunnel in your wall?

He did

Reminds me a little of a rare Irish bird : "The Corncrake"

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If you actually tried to catch it, you would have definitely have fallen off your roof… with a slight delay in gravity.

Roof runner

Who does he think he is?

Followers come to me

Road runner?!

Yep