While not the same, but similar in some strong desires:

People run Nostr relays as people run Bitcoin nodes.

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No, there is no equivalency there because relays need to be actively managed and the volume and content on each one varies widely.

They're more like web servers.

I can run a bitcoin node. i don't think i can run a Nostr Relay. seems like it would require a level of keeping up the software, being aware of who's using it on a 24h basis, and not unplugging the thing from a wall.

You can run one, but you'd be the only user. Useful as a cache or to run searches, etc.

Same way you can run a local http server, to give yourself a private web Interface.

ok, that might be the next challenge.

i hardly even notice i'm running wss://mleku.nostr1.com it's just there, accepting notes from npubs i whitelisted and sending them to me

ok, i've visited that site. this is the one you pay to get a server on a cloud somewhere? so as long as I'm paying, it has my stuff on it?

is there an advantage to this other than storing your own notes?

yes, you can let your friends use it as well and this helps you stay connected

you could add it now i whitelisted you

cool! i joined.

yeah, you'll find stella's notes there too, and some other people i interact with that you may also