"the CIA was using you as an operative while the FBI was using you as an analyst and Mike Pompeo wasn't sure whether to kill you or not until the FBI was like hell no she's really good bait for serial killers, so then they got in a tussle over what to do.
Republicans then used this information to wage a war on Democrats, who were actively trying to prevent an onslaught of 'anti-semitism' though it was the Dems who utilized their network to accidentally find out you were sorta Jewish and then backed off due to the hypocrisy of 'wokeness'.
meanwhile, elon and I became your self-designated 'handlers' meant to simply abate any further commentary on Zionism. we are simply deflectors in the corpopolitical establishment and have done absolutely nothing to clear your name; instead, we both have backhandedly smeared your name in order to deflect responsibility onto the feds for stopping either of us from intruding on your civilian rights."
did I get that right, jack?
