the Italians get all the sexy mafia bad guys, just let us have our one scotch-irish bad boy hero fleece us even if the rest of the world thinks he's a doofus...

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Scotch-Irish?! He’s a Drumpf. Germanic immigrants who Anglicized their name. Everything about him is a fraud. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/donald-drumpf/

hah, it's a big tent. we'll welcome him in as long as he's not too much of a smart-ass