It sounds like you need a backup solution. Nextcloud syncs to make sure folders are the same. What you are describing exists in Syncthing. It has a mode to copy to a client and never delete.

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sigh... so i need something completely different?

I'm a huge Nextcloud fan and run a server for my local community, but yeah I think you probably do, given your use case.

If you can share a little more about how you want to use it, maybe we can find something that'd be a better fit.

Do you want to access these files on other computers, phones, tablets, etc.?

Do you want to share them with others?

These are both things Nextcloud does well but backups do not accomplish. It's possible you want both.