it's it fair to have your spidey senses tingle at those words. but that isn't what I asked.
I get the sense that you are more interested in venting. So I'm going to duck out now.
Discussion
Not trying to vent at you, sorry. I clearly didn't express my idea in a way that made sense to you.
Words are a layer on top of feelings and ideas to try to allow us to share those feelings with others who can't directly experience our internal state.
Dictionary definitions are another layer of abstraction on top of the words to attempt to document our collective agreed uses.
Both layers of abstraction, and the beliefs of the dictionary writer, and the companies editing policy for mass sales all add errors in the final result in the dictionary.
I skipped all those errors and gave an explanation of what I feel when I see a person I don't know use the word.
No one is strictly hewing to the definition of any word internally, we all feel first. So if I want to talk about trying to encourage a healthy concept of masculinity I have to be very careful about my choice of words because people like Tate have been pissing in that pool for ages. For the most part, males in the audience aren't going to feel that tingle on masculinity talk but women will.
If I'm really trying to build a future that is better and more fair for everyone I can't do that with an all male audience and all male ideas. I need everyones input to arrive at a solution that actually serves everyone. So I need to talk about masculinity in a way that doesn't chase away all the women.
I see you writing and you seem to be trying to express an idea that women should be women but that doesn't mean just pretending there is no difference between men and women and it doesn't mean following outdated stereotypes that were put on to women without their say.
As a dad to girls and a volunteer in a children's program, I want that for the little girls I spend time with. I also want a healthy concept of what it is to be a man for the boys in my life. So I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about what that means for both of them and how to teach it.
I wasn't trying to pick a fight. I wanted to share a landmine I spotted with a fellow person I see out there who seems to be persuing a common goal.
I think in general we would agree about language and the impact of certain words. Indeed Tate and others in that crew have really tarnished the word ‘masculinity’ just as other angry people on social media have tarnished the word ‘feminism’.
This is why when we use these words we need to be careful to know our audience or to define them clearly. Below are my definitions.
Feminist: Someone who wants to achieve a world built for and lead by women just as much as it is built for and lead by men.
Masculinity: There really isn’t such a thing as ‘masculinity’ or ‘femininity’, there is only biology and how we manage it. A ‘good man’ or a ‘good woman’ is simply someone who is doing a good job managing the benefits and burdens of their biology. So for men, who are generally physically bigger and stronger, and who don’t get pregnant, managing that well means things like… protecting those physically weaker, not walking away from a pregnancy they caused even though they could, etc.
“I see you writing and you seem to be trying to express an idea that women should be women” that was not my intent. I’m curious how I gave you this impression.
Do you mean that women should be men?
What I meant by women should be women is that they should do a good job managing the benefits and burdens of their biology.
well of course.
So look at this note you wrote. I would like a world where masculine meant managing the pros and cons of being a man well and feminine meant managing the pros and cons of being a woman well.
In the world we live in an apparently reasonable man and woman simply used the words and all hell broke loose, see our conversation above.
Now remember my use case here is largely with a mixed gender group of children whose parents are watching. I have to assume that stove is hot at all times and find another way to guide those kids towards becoming decent adults.
I started this conversation with you because I'm a dude. I'd love to see a woman address this in a way I can use to learn more about the other perspective.
Okay.
...when did all hell break loose?
Well you threatened to walk away once and it has been how many posts of pedantry and still I don't know if you grasped what I set out to express.
Not the worst conversation on the internet but definitely chaos compared to the nostr average interaction "bitcoin good" "I agree bitcoin good"
O you thought all hell broke loose in our conversation?
...are you new to the internet? 🤪
Saying 'no thanks' isn't hell breaking loose. This is a very calm reasonable convo for any setting really.
Not new to the internet, just in nostr mode where I just say I hate the government and love bitcoin and everyone comments to tell me they agree with everything I think.