Yes, this part I got 💹 .

Is there more gating that he is / you are imagining?

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currently most relays just give you everything if you send a filter with only kind 4, 1059, 1060 and many clients add tags when you mention other users that are visible in the clear (wtf?) this is why nostr:npub1m4ny6hjqzepn4rxknuq94c2gpqzr29ufkkw7ttcxyak7v43n6vvsajc2jl is getting people seeing messages that appear to be from her when they have actually just got her npub tagged!

Lmao 🤣 that's so bad.

yeah, this is why i have been banging on about nip-42 for so long, it's critical to DM privacy