Been a big week for me
Podcast is going to take a re-vamped format going forward
The traction I was hoping for has not materialised
I didn’t have a strong enough business plan, almost non-existent
The costs can not be justified at this stage
A lesson in poor planning, self-delusion, and the ever-present behavioural loops I am deeply conditioned into
What was supposed to be a passion project, was morphed into a “huge business opportunity” to seek external validation
I have a fear of admitting I don’t work
A fear of others judgement
Bitcoin has changed my life, I no longer have to sell my time, so the time I do use has to be justified
But if you don’t need “make money” right now, why spend time and energy doing that?
Especially when the real work, my day job, is on home-schooling my 3 kids, my humanistic work, the inter-generational healing I am persuing
My father worked himself to an early death
His father did the same
I don’t have to, yet here I am repeating that pattern
And my wife would say she’s seen me do this on a loop every 6 to 12 months for the last decade
Face your fear
Embrace failure
I got this one wrong, I’ve over invested at an early stage, and my psychological pre-disposition (likely inherited as a previous generations trauma), has once again taken hold
I am trying to not judge
To act with ease, kindness, and grace
And I note the irony of even posting publicly about this
But somehow I want to
The more I can own up to my own failings, the more I can focus on being happier in my own skin
You don’t need to run a successful business to value yourself
You don’t need to have a series of societally acceptable labels to value yourself
You don’t need to make decisions to please people that are around you to value yourself
Some more work to do some no doubt
Have an amazing day to whomever might have read this
Good vibes
Ps - will take some time to think through what format of podcast will serve me, my health, my wife, and my kids
🙏🏻
