Been a big week for me

Podcast is going to take a re-vamped format going forward

The traction I was hoping for has not materialised

I didn’t have a strong enough business plan, almost non-existent

The costs can not be justified at this stage

A lesson in poor planning, self-delusion, and the ever-present behavioural loops I am deeply conditioned into

What was supposed to be a passion project, was morphed into a “huge business opportunity” to seek external validation

I have a fear of admitting I don’t work

A fear of others judgement

Bitcoin has changed my life, I no longer have to sell my time, so the time I do use has to be justified

But if you don’t need “make money” right now, why spend time and energy doing that?

Especially when the real work, my day job, is on home-schooling my 3 kids, my humanistic work, the inter-generational healing I am persuing

My father worked himself to an early death

His father did the same

I don’t have to, yet here I am repeating that pattern

And my wife would say she’s seen me do this on a loop every 6 to 12 months for the last decade

Face your fear

Embrace failure

I got this one wrong, I’ve over invested at an early stage, and my psychological pre-disposition (likely inherited as a previous generations trauma), has once again taken hold

I am trying to not judge

To act with ease, kindness, and grace

And I note the irony of even posting publicly about this

But somehow I want to

The more I can own up to my own failings, the more I can focus on being happier in my own skin

You don’t need to run a successful business to value yourself

You don’t need to have a series of societally acceptable labels to value yourself

You don’t need to make decisions to please people that are around you to value yourself

Some more work to do some no doubt

Have an amazing day to whomever might have read this

Good vibes

Ps - will take some time to think through what format of podcast will serve me, my health, my wife, and my kids

🙏🏻