You are the origin of your circumstances, not other people.

I support your right to argue and I know it serves a purpose.

Avoidance is just the opposite end of attachment. As I see it the goal is to experience neither. That's not to say I have achieved that state in a comprehensive way, but it's a protopian process.

One day at a time.

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“You are the origin of your circumstances, not other people” is absolutely false.

That is victim mentality. You can stay there if you wish.