also tho, cos im feelin a little very unkissed, the central question: do you really want it or do you just want to be seen with it, where i went next, myself was: beneath being seen with it, as in, some external witness, say you dont care, that's easy. what about seeing for yourself thru your own eyes, you as your own validating witness?

not in a scary movie way

say in a dark walk-in closet with plenty of room

or blindfolded if that isnt a sensory issue

scenario: is someone who exists, you are comfortable with, and irl friend or whatever, you know them, their voice, you've been hugged, your body is comfortable around them, you know them well enough there is no chance, zero, it is someone else or a stranger, you would know instantly. do you still want it? as in, not restrained or anything else, tits in your hands whatever you want to hold and taste and hear and smell and do is yours. just cant see.