Based on discussions on telegram 2-3 weeks ago, I've got a branch for gossip to have new "allow_connect" and "allow_auth" flags on a per-relay basis. They start out as None meaning the user is prompted. Afterwards it behaves like a switch you can adjust in the per-relay settings. There are also global flags as to whether the relay connection requires approval, and whether relay auth requires approval, you can turn them both off and just let it rip the way it does currently. In fact they are off by default.
This branch isn't merged yet because the UI work hasn't been done.