thank you for pointing me in the right direction. I see little icons under my name in the note. How would I quickly identify if its being broadcast to my own relay? Do I have to click on each icon and verify the address?

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https://nostr-event-checker.vercel.app/ I think you can check here.. but yes thats a way you can check as well be clicking each icon

great tool but it seems to only show wss and im thinking it wont show my private relay which starts with ws