Ah, uh… no app does that I think

They either piggyback off of Bitcoin Core wallet functionality or use the Electrum server

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Right... The latter statement is all I'm asking for.

One of a few examples - I'd like to be able to break out a phrase, or a pubkey (whatever format necessary) check the balance (wait a few minutes while scanning utxos) then make it vanish. No connecting to outside servers since I have a copy of the network local. No need to store things on the server and trust the server either.

So electrum sounds good, but see my other comment.

Also, use Fulcrum, it is much faster. Instead of minute it'll be a few seconds usually at most.

Oh! I will take a deeper look!

Why does the website have to be such a meme XD