using google messages yeah, it just stopped working recently.. (or started working worse).

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Try to attach yourself to as less Google products as possible. It's an evil company not carrying about their users. This site speeks for itself

https://killedbygoogle.com/

I know but I tried to get em on signal and they won't do it.

Drop it. If they'll need you, they know where to find you.

You are on the driving seat. Make them use Signal 😀

🎯

Check under message settings/advanced. Make sure group messaging is set to MMS not mass text. Other than that I'm not sure.