"definitely don't zap me a few million sats"

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Were you here back in the million sat trust zaps days?

Of course a million sats isn't what it was back then, but still a crazy time.

I don't think so. I seem to have created this npub in February of '24

Nope, you missed it. That was back in early 2023 when zaps first became a thing and we didn't have to post lightning invoices anymore.