it's not a random algorithm when that in/out box set is given to the network by your follows
as for the phobia i hear here in the "private/paid" relay side of things, that's because you haven't thought about the idea of being able to access - for one - DMs by being party to them (what would be the point of having a paid relay to post your DMs to if your recipients couldn't get them from there???)
there is such thing also, as rate limiting systems, that provide a "free tier" access accounting that ... DEPENDS on authentication
so, if i am in a discussion with someone, and they reply to my message, and my NPUB is in the tags of the event, then a paid relay should rightly deliver me that event on request AFTER AUTH
any further stuff you talk about comparing DHCP versus IPs you fall into a quagmire because literally NIP-65 is about registering locations to the equivalent of a DHCP server using your MAC address as reference to a "leased" IP address
i'm happy to keep explaining this stuff until you, especially client devs, get it