My brother, Ive had days where I felt like this myself. The LN can be a harsh and frustrating mistress.
I try to keep in mind that a good chunk of the performance problems encountered are actually the terrible ToR links and behavior. Some are *still* client and protocol incompatibilities between nodes. Also poorly maintained channels that are completely saturated in one direction (yet advertise great rates!). Not to mention the likelihood of bad actors that attempt to gatekeep/throttle/selectively timeout comms, etc.
It's wild out there, but don't give up! Find good plebs and open channels to them!!!