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Emily Nagoski on the importance of having a proper "home", in the form of a person, who accepts you as you are and let's you experience all your emotions without shaming, blaming and disrupting. I hope you have found your "home" and feel safe there:

"Home is the place—physical and emotional—where we can discharge stress without being judged or shamed or told we just need to relax or forget about it. Home is where we receive our partner’s loving presence. People who listen with a loving presence are calm, attentive, and warmly attuned to the other person. In the very best relationships, we’re allowed to experience all forms of stress—anger, fear, shutdown—and receive the loving presence of our partner sitting still and quiet through the storm."

#wisdom #relationships #love #stress #quotes #goodlife

purrs_for_Her 1y ago

this is a beautiful quote. i like a lot of Emily Nagoski's work.

there's so much more to being a supportive partner than just being patient and listening. she nails it when she says "listening with a loving presence."

that presence is found in acknowledging those emotions and extending grace and unconditional love to your partner.

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Discussion

Tinita 1y ago

I totally agree. I didn't know Emily before, but I've recently started reading her book "Come as You Are", which was recommended by another author. So far I'm greatly enjoying it and it gives me appreciation for the supportive relationships I have in my life. 💛 Sometimes it's too easy to take them for granted.

purrs_for_Her 1y ago

it really seems like a rare thing to find supportive relationships like that, so good for you~!

i really liked Emily's explanation of brakes and accelerators. that gave me a better understanding about things and helped me to feel less insecure and become a more supportive partner for my Wife.

<333

Tinita 1y ago

Seems like you've been doing the work as well! 💛 💪 This reminds me of "Happy Wife, happy Life" . 😀

I agree, it's helpful to have it all laid out so neatly on the page, even though in hindsight it seems so obvious that there are "breaks" and "accelerators".

purrs_for_Her 1y ago

lol it does seem a bit obvious in hindsight, but as a guy, it's so helpful to have is spelled out like that because we tend to work a lot differently in that aspect. it helped me to take things less personally and extend more support. :3

and i was just thinking of that phrase "happy Wife, happy life" over the weekend~! i even made a note about it. <333

what are your thoughts??

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Tinita 1y ago

That's interesting. I've never really thought about these different interpretations. For me the phrase is more like you have suggested about joy and fulfillment for both. When my husband and I have disagreements, we sit down and talk about it until we find a path forward. We don't gloss over them, just so that on the surface I seem to be pleased. I'm not happy when he's unhappy and vice versa. So actually we should also use the phrase "Happy Husband, happy life", though that doesn't rhyme as beautifully. 😅