I think the assumption that they “should make an effort” to behave in a way that matches our expectations of a traditional gender role is an incorrect one; which ties into your question about whether someone has the right to impose a new vocabulary on you.

I’m not deeply versed in libertarianism by any stretch, but I always found the Rawls-ian liberalism to meet most of my expectations for a “just” societal structure.

Under this view, the “line” between freedom and restriction is right up until the point where another’s rights are impinged upon.

So in this case, it’s that person’s right to ask to be addressed a certain way, it’s the empathetic thing to do to meet that request. That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do so (and the state certainly doesn’t have the right to force you to).

I think that part of where it all gets tricky is the range and nuances between respect/empathy, rights/freedom, and I won’t even add religion to the mix but ya know…

My approach is, I have never known the kind of experience of life that a trans person has (this view can be extended to the lives of other minority groups). The word “privilege” triggers literally everyone, but the fact is that I have no idea what it’s like to go through that. Whether that’s due to my brain chemistry, hormones, lived experience, or other factors, it’s just true.

Because of this, the best thing I think I can do as a fellow human is to listen, and respect their sharing of this experience. Like nostr:npub1aeh2zw4elewy5682lxc6xnlqzjnxksq303gwu2npfaxd49vmde6qcq4nwx said, it doesn’t harm me to approach it this way.