Clearly network effect is relevant with regards to messaging apps. Nevertheless, if you're in the position of changing you'r connection platforms, you can have a go with Mumble (instead of Discord) and XMPP (prosody highly suggested) instead of Matrix (that is heavy as hell). You could manage most of the others with bridges from XMPP, but at the end of the day all comes to how much time you'r willing to commi for the setup of all these stuff and backup management.