You nailed it about Mastodon and the "fediverse." When you leave X or Threads for a fediverse instance, you are essentially changing from a corporately ruled world, which at least has somewhat clear rules, to the hands of a completely arbitrary tyrant.

Your online identity can be terminated simply because one moderator, who is a friend of the instance owner, is bipolar and in a bad mood.

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Exactly, the fact that anyone can control whether I literally exist online is becoming more and more a ridiculous concept, and I’m questioning more and more why I was ever okay with it

and what is mastodon proponents answer for that?