I think strategically choosing relays is a smart play in this situation. If you pick two popular global relays, like damus.io and purplerelay.com, and then choose 2 or 3 mid-level relays, like diggoo and nos.lol, you'll have access to virtually all of nostr without needing a dozen other relays. And most of the traffic they generate is duplicates of what was found on the big relays, so it's a waste. Give it a try for a few days and see how it works out.

I don't agree with assessment. ProtonVPN is probably the second best VPN provider after Mullvad. I have not seen a rational, fact-based argument against using them.

Proton is a fine option, I use it myself. Especially with paid features like the secure core connections through Estonia etc

If you do something illegal, they provide information to the gov...