well, i'm not sure if it's something "genetic" as much as it's just something that makes up a part of my identity. i'm also not so sure if i'd feel this way with other women because my Wife is my first and only long-term relationship.

early on, i felt ashamed of my submissive desires and tried to hide it for awhile (trying to disguise it as just "gentlemanly" behavior), but She kind of naturally drew it out of me in Her own way. it took a lot of work for me to get this far in my journey, and i wonder—if it weren't for Her, perhaps this part of me would have manifested and remained only in the shadow, the sexual realm, instead of being integrated more holistically...

but anyway, i think the key point really may be a space to be vulnerable rather than an explicit loss of control (though at times that might be one and the same). it's comforting to have a place to be able to take all the armor off—and yep, it's takes a lot of trust and courage to do so. ^^

thank you so much for the kind words—i truly am a lucky kitty. :3

and thank you again for the discussion and the show of interest—it's much appreciated. ^__^