Replying to Avatar BTC Sessions

Moment of vulnerability here, wondering if anyone has had a similar experience before.

I completely LOST it on another person's kid today when I thought they had intentionally hurt my daughter, but I was wrong and now I feel horrible.

Context: on a road trip with another family. The other child has behavioral issues and has been known to get physical in the past with others at school and daycare. Over the course of the trip he's been pretty poorly behaved and aggressive but not downright violent... but I had it in the back of my mind that it could happen.

My daughter was playing with him in the other room, then suddenly runs out screaming, bleeding from the mouth and saying that he had hit her. I've never experienced anyone intentionally hurt my little girl and I instantly flew into protective dad mode before properly assessing the situation. In my mind he had punched her in the mouth.

I stormed into the room and flew into a rage, screaming at the absolute top of my lungs, pointing my finger in the kid's face saying to NEVER touch her EVER again. His mom was right behind me. He was likely terrified and I was honestly way beyond any level of anger I've ever felt.

In the next minute or two my daughter then clarified that it was an accident and they had been playing rough but had unintentionally slammed into each other.

The boy cried, his mom was in shock, and she also had tears in her eyes. I feel absolutely awful about the whole situation, I should have had more self control, and I'm a little in shock how quickly I became an absolute monster to a young kid.

I apologized in the moment to both of them and sent a message after saying I should have handled the situation better.

Just really upset about the whole thing, unsure how to proceed now. Any girl dads out there ever have this happen to them?

“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on – it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance – unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”

– Marcus Aurelius

This quote from Marcus is much easier said than done of course! It takes courage and humility to post what you did and it’s normal to feel the way you did after the incident. Any parent can empathize with your story and your reaction. What’s most important here is how you respond to your situation. The past is the past. #StayStoic @BTC Sessions

Reply to this note

Please Login to reply.

Discussion

No replies yet.